People, including kids, don't like to be judged.

Part I
Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!" -Reflection

When does a pat on the back become the push we need and without out it we can't move?

This weeks reading was an eye opener to say the least.I've always thought that "Good Job" and other outwardly open praises were part of reinforcing good behavior. Never have I thought that it might be doing more harm then good. And the message that is really coming across.

While reading this piece I couldn't help but think of myself as an adult. I started to think about things I do throughout my day. Were my actions being driven by a force or need for acceptance? Was this something that I learned a child? I thought about going to my kickboxing class. When I'm there and the trainer isn't standing over me saying "good job",  did I not try as hard? When finishing a time consuming or difficult task at work, if I didn't get a "good job" at the end did I feel some how I failed in my efforts? Was I an adult that was seeking praise?  I believe my answers are all YES.Where did this it start? Why didn't I realize this before now? These are all questions that were racing through my mind as I worked through this  reading.

As a child I can say that I was not praised a tremendous amount but I craved it.I searched for those "good girl" moments. And always wanted someone to recognize my achievements. I have gone through much of my life with a need for approval, someone to say that I am good enough. Embarrassingly enough I can admit many of my efforts were done with the goal of receiving some type of praise or reward at the end. Looking back at these instances I can see that I still have a ways to go in my efforts to not need approval.

This reading definitely has shown how our almost bribed moments as adults can effect children for a long time. In the moment as an adult we can manipulate children with a "prize" for the good behavior but were really laying groundwork for them as adults. We can not teach children that when they do something good they automatically get a reward. This is not a great idea because when they don't get the reward than can feel as though "what's the point"or "what did I do wrong"?. Almost as though we were building a walkway made of quicksand.Setting them up to fail.

 It has become very apparent even more than ever that it is easier to correct this negative behavior when we are teaching children than to fix it in adults. Kohn's piece has reinforced in me that certain types of praising can be confusing and send the wrong messages to children. We want kids to want to do well in school, be kind to others and achieve their goals and not because there is approval or a reward at the end. We want them to have pride in themselves and be happy with who they are and not seek this in others. Being genuine in their intent and not because they were trained to do it.

Question for the Class:

Have their been moments in your own life where you were seeking approval? What can be some of the dangers of looking for happiness through someone else? Did you realize this before Kohn's reading.

Links to share:  kidshealth.org

Part II
I won't learn from you- Quotes

• "No failure is possible since there has been no attempt to learn". This is a bold but true statement when referring to Herbert Kohl's piece. The constant theme in this reading becomes that many students are deliberately trying to not learn as a way of making a statement. In rejecting what is being presented to them they are silently fighting against something which they don't agree with. Some students are non-learners and it is being assumed that they are not good students ,when that is not the issue.

• "The systems problem becomes the victim's problem". This statement is also very moving. It represents that because the United States school system has it's flaws some students try to be defiant and stand up for what they believe in. They perform this action by not-learning. Unfortunately they become the ones that are punished and the school system continues on even though it is broken. This is an inward cry for change. The wrong part of the system is being looked at .The educational program should be under the microscope not an individual.

• "Until we learn to distinguish not-learning from failure and respect the truth behind this massive rejection of schooling by students from poor and oppressed communities, it will not be possible to solve the major problems of education in the United States today".  Simply stated we need to wake up. We need to take a look at why students in certain communities are failing and what can be done to fix it. This may include looking at the schooling system through the eyes of someone that is not in the majority. We need directly acknowledge these problems see that they are there and perform ways to fix them. We need to understand that when someone is not learning a subject it is not always for an obvious reason.

 

                                                            Question for the class?

When or can we know that a student is making a deliberate attempt to not learn what is being presented? Can we blame students that don't want to learn certain topics? When we are getting children to learn certain topics are we "tricking" them?

Online:  Johns Hopkins School of Education Some great literature to go with our class.